So you’ve been dating this person, or you have a friend, or a relative, and they really enjoy the music of [insert artist name here], and you know said person owns all the artist's albums, t-shirts, lithographs, blacklight posters, lunch boxes, key chains, pillowcases, limited edition neckties, candybars, an imponderable number of memorabilia-related knickknacks… But you want to get something really special, something you know is a rare or impossible find, something really impressive and unforgettable.

What follows is a holiday gift guide tailored specifically for you and other thoughtful shoppers like you.

Ruben & The Jets painting

Cost: $1,050

What you get: The album cover of Frank Zappa's seminal doo-wop masterpiece, Cruising with Ruben & The Jets, re-created as an acrylic-on-wood painting by original artist Cal Schenkel. But please note: “each image will vary slightly from the illustration and will include a variety of sayings in talk bubbles above the characters.”

Cost: $900 minimum

What you get: A better New Year’s Eve experience than the majority of the world. The Flaming Lips perform Pink Floyd’s Dark Side of the Moon live at Cox Civic Center in Oklahoma City, Ok. But you need a variety of things to be absolutely prepared: a ticket to the show ($10-$25 + service charges); round-trip airfare (from Tampa, $225 per person minimum — someone's got to take them, right?); a place to stay, food, transportation, incidentals ($more + $more + $more??). And each day you procrastinate, the airfare, lodging and even the transportation increases exponentially and unreasonably.

Tom Waits Orphans Box Set

Cost: $150

What you get: The super fan already received this CD set for Christmas in 2006, but it sounds so much better on vinyl … 62 tracks spread out on 7 vinyl LPs (that’s right — there are 6 more tracks here than on the discs), and the vinyl package also includes a 94-page book of lyrics and photos. Sadly, it does not come with a flask shaped like Waits’ face.

The post Holiday gifts for super music fans only: NYE with the Flaming Lips, Pixies Minotaur box set, Vincent Gallo’s sperm and more! appeared first on Creative Loafing Tampa.

Director James Cameron’s first film since his little production of Titanic made him King of the World, Avatar is the easily the biggest movie of the year. (Suck it Transformers 2!) For a movie this huge, you want to roll VIP style. The winner of this auction will get 10 tickets to see Avatar at Channelside Cinemas in Sony 4K 3D. And since you can’t have a movie without refreshments, the fine folks at Channelside are throwing in popcorn, soda, pizza and beer (ages 21 and up only, limit one per person) for you and your friends.

Estimated value: $200

This auction item closes Monday, Dec. 14 @ 4 p.m. EST.

Final bid: $160

Bidding for this item is closed.

The post CL Holiday Auction Item #53: VIP Avatar Party appeared first on Creative Loafing Tampa.

This item is sure to secure you a place in the heart of any 8- to 12-year-old girl on your holiday shopping list. Included with your purchase is a DVD/Blu-Ray combo pack of the Miley Cyrus smash hit Hannah Montana The Movie, DVDs of Barbie and the Three Musketeers and Barbie Presents Thumbelina, two passes (plus refreshements) to Channelside Cinemas 10, and one (1) Twilight Saga: New Moon T-shirt. Plus, if you win the auction, we’ll throw in a New Moon poster and commemorative card set. So buy now, lest your little princess shun you and your lame-gift-giving ass forever!

Estimated value: $110.

This auction item closes Thursday, Dec. 10 @ 4:30 p.m. EST.

Current high bid: $31

Bid for this item below:

The post CL Holiday Auction Item #56: Pre-Teen Girl Movie Gift Pack appeared first on Creative Loafing Tampa.

No matter if your man is 17 or 70, he relates to the world on the emotional level of child — a child with a deep love of dick and fart jokes. To help ladies of a higher maturity level shop for their Cro-Magnon mates, we’ve assembled this movie gift pack sure to amuse the most scatological dude on your shopping list. Leading things off is Sacha Baron Cohen’s raunchy and rude Brüno, a comedy about a flamboyant fashion icon’s interactions with America that CL’s Joe Bardi called a “penis shock and awe campaign.” Also included are Land of the Lost, a ’70s-TV remake starring Will Ferrell and Danny McBride that contains dinosaurs, aliens and (in the film’s best scene) hallucinogenic drugs, and the animated Bionicle The Legend Reborn, a full-length animated film that your man will love even as you look down on him for enjoying a cartoon. Finally, get him off the couch and out of the house with a tickets for two to the movies (refreshments included) at Channelside Cinemas 10.

Estimated value: $100

This auction item closes Friday, Dec. 11 @ 3 p.m. EST.

Current high bid: $35

Bid for this item below:

The post CL Holiday Auction Item #55: Immature Dude Movie Gift Pack appeared first on Creative Loafing Tampa.

The classic dinner/movie pairing has long been the go-to option for newbie daters, film geeks and parents just looking for a break from the kids. We’ll set the winner of this auction up with dinner at The Belleair Grill and Wine Bar, downtown Clearwater’s home of new American favorites with a touch of of European influence. (Be sure to check out the wine list.) After dinner, head over to Beach Theatre on St. Pete Beach and check out a flick — Beach offers some of the best and most eclectic screenings in town. Where the night goes from there is up to you..

Estimated value: $70

This auction item closes Monday, Dec. 14 @ 5 p.m. EST.

Current high bid: $49

Bid for this item below:

The post CL Holiday Auction Item #54: Dinner and a Movie Package appeared first on Creative Loafing Tampa.

Are you a film fanatic who’s always dreamed of writing your own review of a big Hollywood release? If so, we’ve got just the offer for you: The winning bidder will accompany Associate Editor Joe Bardi (left) to a special preview screening of a major upcoming release. (That’s “preview,” as in “see it before it opens and make your friends jealous.”) Love it? Hate it? Either way, you sort out your thoughts and write the CL movie review for the chosen film — to run in both the print and online editions of Creative Loafing. After you’ve completed the review, attract readers with your own media blitz, including an appearance on CL’s Reel Projections podcast and heavy promotion of your review through Twitter, Facebook and CLTampa.com. Soon, thousands of CL readers will look to you for guidance on what movie to see next. Feel the power!

This auction item closes Tuesday, Dec. 15 @ 2:30 p.m. EST.

Final bid: $110

Bidding for this item is closed.

The post CL Holiday Auction Item #41: Be a movie critic! appeared first on Creative Loafing Tampa.

As Telly Savalas used to say: Membership has its privileges. The winner of this auction item gets an annual membership for two at Tampa Bay’s favorite old-time movie palace, the Tampa Theatre. The membership includes 12 free movie tickets; $2 off Tampa Theatre-sponsored screenings; free refills on popcorn, soda and coffee from the concession stand; subscriptions to both the theater’s in-house newsletter and e-newsletter; free admission to the annual members’ reception (including a VIP hour before the event); and reduced admission prices to theater fundraisers. Tampa Theatre values these memberships at $200 each, and if you’re like us you’ll save that on refilled popcorn alone.

Estimated value: $200

This auction item closes Thursday, Dec. 10 @ 3:30 p.m. EST.

Current high bid: $125

Place you bid below:

The post CL Auction Item #44: Tampa Theatre Membership appeared first on Creative Loafing Tampa.

From risqué cards and gag gifts to adult-oriented ornaments, this Tampa novelty store is filled with knickknacks that cater to the oddball set, usually at lower prices than competitors. Have a mischievous little brother? Check out the wall of prankster gifts. Stoner roommate? Consider black lights and a fog machine. The cluttered store also carries a wide selection of beads, posters, locally made incense, wooden pipes and an assortment of costumes unparallelled in Tampa.

Gift This: With the banks going under, more people are keeping money under the bed. Try hideaway boxes instead, available in the shape of mayonnaise jars (right), Pringles and shaving cream, $24.95 to $32.95.

1441 E. Fletcher Ave. suite #141, Tampa, 813-977-0904.

See other stops on CL’s Indie Holiday Shopping Spree here.

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Couples are spicing up more than the eggnog this holiday season, trading the mistletoe for remote-control vibrators. And when it comes to finding the perfect stocking stuffer, there’s no better place than The Todd.

Open since 1969, this veritable warehouse of sex toys and porn flicks near USF-Tampa is not only the biggest sex store in Tampa, it’s also the least skeevy. A well-lit parking lot and helpful staff make shopping for that perfect lube a less-than-dirty, and in fact pleasant, experience. Besides your standard fare of edible underwear and fuzzy handcuffs, The Todd has a vast display of dildos and vibrators (buy an assortment in holiday-brite colors like the ones shown above), blow-up dolls that run the gamut of tastelessness and wall after wall of adult DVDs. For thrifty spenders, there’s even a clearance section.

Gift This: Find positions you didn’t even know existed with The Todd’s selection of sex swings, $129-$189.

13417 N. Nebraska Ave., Tampa, 813-221-0099

See other stops on CL’s Indie Holiday Shopping Spree here.

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This is the way a neighborhood wine shop should look: full of bottles of all types and price ranges but uncluttered, with a hint of dark-wood old-world charm. Three decades in South Florida have brought this indie a loyal following even in the face of the big-box wine purveyors that hit town in the past year. Here’s the great thing about a wine shop like this: Just go in and tell David, Jimmy and Michael what you want to eat with your wine, explain the occasion and how much you want to spend, and the perfect bottle will be in your hands within minutes. Plus, they have one of the best cheese selections around — rich stilton, double Gloucester, Applegate smoked cheddar, Appenzeller Swiss (above) and Morbier, for starters, many in nice big wheels that they will cut right in front of you — and stemware that ranges from the high-end Riedel (a killer Chardonnay glass for $22.99) to Wineland crystal that is just $5 a stem.

Gift this: A bottle of port (below) is “so appropriate and substantial,” as Michael Roberts puts it, perfect for cold weather, smoking cigars or just after dinner, starting at $20.

3629 Henderson Blvd., Tampa, 813-879-2931.

For more stops on the Indie Holiday Shopping Spree, click here.

Photos by Wayne Garcia

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